On Being vs Being Seen

I spent the last 10 days of 2022 hibernating: luxuriating over slow mornings, a second mug of coffee, and unscheduled blocks of free time. From the yuccas of Joshua Tree to the waves of Santa Barbara, I had a deeply restorative road-trip embracing stillness and solitude.

I use the word “restorative” in juxtaposition to “explorative”. Some trips are about exploration: seeing as much as you can in a given amount of time. On one hand these trips can provide abundant inspiration, on the other it can breed chaos and clutter. I’ve definitely been guilty of taking a checklist tourism approaching, racing to check off Tripadvisor recommendations while my body attempts to keep up.

How easy it is to get seduced by attractions, outfits, food choices, and roads that are more “instagrammable”. How challenging it is to resist that temptation and be still with oneself. This trip, I nudged myself towards this more grounded space, giving myself full permission to recharge without worrying about the aesthetics of my choices. I wore the same outfit for multiple days without showering! I ran around naked in the desert! I didn’t care that I missed out on an outdoor sculpture garden! My only goal was to exist. I was able to settle into being, and quiet the incessant tyrant in my mind optimizing my whole self for being seen.

With less choices came more space to cultivate stillness and follow my heart. I started every morning with coffee, walking my dog, and 3 pages of journaling before allowing the day to unfold as it pleased. I also read 4 vastly different books (keep reading for the titles in that space! Here are the lessons I gleaned: 

1.       Surrender yourself to a higher order. Whether it’s your faith, environment, community, or ancestors, it’s important to have some kind of force pushing you to believe in something bigger than yourself. This serves as a necessary antidote to our heedless worrying and narcissistic tendencies to only focus on personal, financial, and social gain.

2.       Make your own decisions. Commit to focusing on your personal legend, artist’s dates, goals, or whatever else you hypothesize will yield fulfillment. Don’t outsource your decision making to others or play the comparison game (spoiler: it tends to be a losing one). Inaction breeds apathy and indecisiveness chaos - have the courage to make a decision, accept its consequences, and then recalibrate as necessary.

3.     We are holistic beings. How often we glorify the mind at the cost of the body or spirit, and ignore the need for balance in this trifecta. Winston Churchill laid bricks and oil panted as an antidote to global politics. Haruki Murakami sticks to a rigid running regiment when drafting his novels. We know the consequences of overwork and burnout yet we continue to ignore signs of internal misalignment.

4.    We need to rest, recharge, and take off our masks. While my last bullet recognizes our composition of mind, body, and soul, this one encourages you to embrace the lifelong journey of discovering how to care of each. We each have very unique paths, needs, and desires. As my acting teacher says, we are the instrument. Understanding your instrument and maintaining it accordingly is critical for existing.

5.       The need for play and leisure. Get a hobby. Not for the sake of improved performance at work, a tidy instagram post detailing your beautiful process, or bragging rights. DO IT SOLEY FOR THE SAKE OF DOING IT. Doodle. Write. Paint. Learn by exploring and doing. Embrace arts and crafts. Make bad films. Let go of the incessant need to be outcome oriented - nothing matters except getting lost in the sauce.

I would not have been able to arrive at these learnings without the peace and quiet from stillness. So for January, I ask you to return home to yourself. How do you quiet the chaos? How do you recharge? How do you tune yourself up when things are feel like they’re crashing and burning? Curious what might pop up for you.

Mindful Consumption

📚 Books

• The Alchemist by Pablo Coelho

• The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

• Stillness is the Way by Ryan Holiday

• My Body by Emily Ratajowski

🎶 Music

• Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed. Hey babe, why don’t you take a walk on the wild side? 

• My Better Self by Tennis. My better self still knows, that meaning comes and goes. What is innate I do not know, but meaning comes and it goes

• Your Love by Qrion. So dang catchy.

🛍 Products

• Been drinking a fuckton of water cause of this comically large water bottle

• Aeropress Go Travel: great for espresso shots and americanos while camping, all condensed into a compact mug. Making my morning coffee with this was by far one of my roadtrip highlights.

• Zorijushi stainless steel travel mug: keeps coffee hot whether you’re camping, skiing, commuting, or lounging

That’s it for this month’s edition, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the next.

Thanks for reading!

XOXO JZ